In Bed
by Elsie girl
Summary: What do Soda and Pony usually talk about in bed? This is my take on their conversations in series of oneshots. Will be mostly humor. Ideas were taken from real conversations and others are compltetly random. Please R&R! Enjoy!
1. Imaginary Rumbles

**Disclaimer:** The Outsiders is not mine. I make no money from this. Please don't sue me.

_**A/N:**_ I_ just thought this up. These will be short one-shots in a series concentrating on Pony and Soda's conversations. Inspired by real conversations. Reviews are desired and suggestions and ideas are very welcome. Thanks for reading!_

**In Bed**

**Chapter 1:** Imaginary Rumble

They were laying in bed, like everynight, and Pony was saying everything that poped into his head. That happened to be quite a lot of stuff.

"Soda?"

"Yeah, Pony?"

"If Darry and Dally got in a fight, who would win?"

"Darry if it was skin, Dally if he was really pissed and had like a blade or something."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"If Steve and Dally got in a fight who would win?"

"Neither. Neither would want to lose so they'd beat each other to death."

"Oh." Soda, his eyelids as heavy as ever, began to just drift off when he heard yet again:

"Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"If Darry and Steve got in a fight, who would win?"

"Darry." he sighed and hoped it was for the last time. The clocks had changed this weekend and so he was going to be extra tired in the morning.

"Soda?"

"What?"

"If me and you got in a fight, which would win?"

That was it. He couldn't help it. He thrust his legs and arms forward in unison quickly, and a startled Pony hit the floor with a BANG!

"I would!" Soda cackled hysterically.

"_Soda_..." Pony whined, rolling over with his hair slung in his eyes.

"What's goin' on? Everybody okay?" A big shadow with Darry's voice asked in the doorway. Soda was too busy laughing to hear him. At the scene before him, Darry couldn't help but join in.

"Yeah, yeah. Get your jollys." Pony said sarcastically, rubbing his bruised butt and sliding bcak into bed.


	2. I Think You're Pretty Too

**Dsiclaimer:** Please see first chapter.

_**A/N:** Thanks for all your reviews. I wasn't sure anyone else would find this as funny as I did. If you have any weird conversation you've had in bed or any ideas, please share them! This should be up-dated fast and often as the chapters are so short. I hope you like this one!_

**Chapter 2:** I Think You're Pretty Too

"What are waffles?"

Now that was weird. Pony was given to ask stupid things, but waffles? Aw well, humor the baby brother.

"Waffles? Come on, Pone."

"What?" he whined.

"Like pancakes, only with griddles."

"Okay." He seemed to have let the subject go and did not speak for a while. Soda thought he was finally asleep. He probably should have known better.

"I love you." said Pony, randomly.

"You too, bud."

"You're pretty."

"Thanks, I know, but I prefer the word handsome."

"I like your hair."

"Thanks. Yours is cool too."

"And your eyes..." came Pony's dreamy voice.

"Uh, Pone?" This was getting a little awkward.

"I want to kiss you."

"WHAT?" Soda flipped over and grabbed his brother's shoulder. Pony had his eyes closed. He was holding his pillow tightly and drooling on it. Apparently, Soda had just had a conversation with someone talking to someone else in his dream.

He snorted. "Goodnight, Pony."

"Goodnight, Cherry." Chuckling, Sodapop rolled over and was about to fall asleep when something occurred to him.

"Cherry? Dally's girlfriend?"

_**A/N:** Thanks for reading! Review?_


	3. Waking Nightmares

**Disclaimer:** Please see previous chapters.

_**A/N:** This is not a comedy. Be warned. There will be more comedy later on, but this is not it. That said, please let me know what you think of the angsty one. Thanks for reading! Also, it's in Pony's p.o.v. and I think I'll be switching around from now on. Opinions on that anyone?_

**Chapter 3:** Waking Nightmares

Me and Soda had just settled down the bed and it was cold; really cold. Soda snuggled up close to keep me warm. I held tightly onto his arm as my mind went off on a dangerous tangent.

You see, ever since I had lost Johnny and my parents, I worried people would just cease to be around one day. I would get real scared all of the sudden and sort of panic until I was sure they were there. As I could feel Soda's breath gently falling on my neck, that fear was quickly hushed. Unfortunately, others came hurtling in after it. I started to think about what may happen to Soda and all of the ways he could die.

He could get hit by a car at the DX, killed in fight, get cancer, get stabbed in a mugging, go to the war overseas, slip and break his neck, or choke on a piece of pork chop bone. There was no stopping what may happen. Helplessness is not a positive emotion.

As I pulled the blankets closer and pushed my face into my pillow, I thought about how different life would be without Soda. I thought about how I would have no one to talk to about the clouds and sunset; no one to ask girl advice or stupid questions; no one to stand up for me in front of Steve or Darry; no one to wake me from strange nightmares; and no one to warm me up on cold nights. Without Soda, the bed would feel so empty, hollow like a grave and cold like the earth under one, on a night like this. I realized that, without Soda, life would feel empty and cold as my bed without him. I shivered.

Soda thought I was cold and wrapped around me tighter.

"Thanks, Soda" I mumbled, my whispering appearing in a fine mist before my face.

"No problem," he answered simply, completely clueless of all I was really thanking him for inside my head.


	4. Heros and Villians

**In Bed**

**D****isclaimer: **See previous chapters.

_**A/N:** I've written a couple of these, but the site hasn't been letting me download any documents. Weird. Anyway, I hope you like this. It's got humor, a little sadness, and a risky amount of sap. It's completely based on a true story. Please review!_

**Chapter 4:** Heros and Villains

"Soda?"

"Yeah." You think he'd get tired of saying that _every_ night.

"If you could be anyone in the world, besides yourself, then who would you be?"

"King." He grunted.

"Which one?"

"**The** king. You know, Elvis."

"Oh. Why?"

"He's got the hair, the girls, and one hot car. He's tuff. Who would you be?"

"I'm not sure yet. What about Darry?"

"You wanna be Darry?"

"No! I mean who would Darry want to be?"

"How am I supposed to know who Darry'd want to be?"

"You know him better than I do. Come on, just guess. It's a hypothetical question anyway."

"Okay, probably... you."

"Huh?"

"Yeah."

"Why would Darry ever want to be me? Does he have a odd desire to yell at himself or something?"

"You've got your whole life ahead of you. You could still go college. You're even smarter than he was. You have a lot less responsibilities and someone older to look out for you. Darry lost all that when mom and dad died."

"I never thought of it that way." Pony was quiet and thoughtful for a moment. Just a moment.

"What about Dally?"

"Dally would be James Dean. Enough said."

"He'd wanna be dead?"

"You know what I mean. Now, you answer one: Johnny?"

"Johnny'd be someone with a nicer family."

"Yeah." Agreed Soda sadly.

"No-wait- I take it back. Johnny would be Dally."

"Oh yeah. his hero right? Okay: Two-Bit?"

"That's easy!"

"It is?"

"Yeah. Mickey mouse."

"That's not person."

"Don't tell him that." They laughed.

"Stevie?"

"Steve would be...himself."

"Well, I wish he wouldn't."

"Pone."

"What? He's a jerk."

"Okay then, what about you?"

"Me? I'm not a jerk."

"No. I mean who would you be, stupid?" Soda yawned.

"You."

"No, I'm serious."

"Me too."

"What? I'm not smart liek you or athletic like Darry. Dally's tougher, Two-Bit's funnier, and Steve's better with cars."

"Well, you always listen to people, like me, even when it's some thing real dumb. You get what people are saying too, like when me and Darry argue. Yous see both sides. Everybody likes you. Well, mostly everybody; not Socs and stuff, but all the girls and everybody around here. You're fun to be around, because you make people feel all right and you smile real big and handsome. You fight good though, and you don't do stuff just because everybody else is doing it. Your reason for life is just living. It's pretty tuff. It's pretty, I dunno, pretty gold."

Pony stopped talking, realizing he was rambling a little, or a lot. He mumbled the last bit, even though he somehow thought Soda may just get it. He waited for an answer, but none came. Not a thank you, not a squeeze of the shoulder, not an polite, modest protest.

"Soda?"

Nothing.

"Soda?" He turned around and saw his older brother fast asleep. "Figures. The one time I give you a real compliment you fall asleep during it and have no memory of it. Beautiful." Ponyboy rolled back over and closed his eyes.

Little did he know that, as he did so, Soda quit faking sleep and opened his eyes. He tossed one more killer smile silently into the darkness of their room, as an unseen tear dropped onto his worn pillow.

_**A/N:** Well?_


	5. I Wish

**Disclaimer: **See previous chapters.

_**A/N:**Okay this one is bit different. It's short. I thought it was halairious, but it was kinda late and random. So, enjoy and review!_

**In Bed**

Chapter 5: I Wish

"What's the matter?" Soda demanded. I had been quiet all evening, ever since the Socs jumped me this afternoon. I was okay, just mad. Really mad. I wasn't mad in particular mad at those specific kids, it was more the situation.

"I'm tired."

"Don't give me that crap you weren't sleepin'. You were layin' over there huffing and sighing. Now, what's wrong?"

"I am tired. I'm tired of this."

"Tired of what?"

"Why do things gotta be like this Soda? Why do we have to be careful all the time and worry about getting jumped? Why do we gotta think about paying bills and our friends getting beat up and thrown in jail and stuff? It ain't fair. I wish things were different."

"I know. Life ain't fair, I guess. Isn't that what dad used to tell us about that sort of thing?"

"That ain't a reason, that's crap. Sometimes I just wish things would be like they were before; when it didn't matter so much; when we still had our folks around to look after us."

"So what do you wish? You can't it both ways. Do you want it to be different or the same?"

"Both I guess. What do you wish?"

"Me?" asked Soda, with a hint of slyness in his voice.

"Yeah."

"I wish..."

"Uh-huh."

"I wish..."

"Yes?"

"I wish I WAS AN OSCAR MAYER WIENER."

"Soda!"

"What Pony? That is what I truly wish to be! Why! Ask me why!"

"Okay, okay. Why?"

"Because, IF I WERE AN OSCAR MAYER WIENER, everyone would be in love with- You sing."

"Everyone would be in love with-"

"Everyone would be in love with MEEEEEEE!"

"If you two don't shut up, I'm comin' in there and pound your faces until you look like an Oscar Mayer wiener!"

"Okay. Sorry," offered Soda. We muffled our laughter with pillows. "Hey Darry?"

"WHAT?!"

"My bologna has a first name..."

"Ughh! I hate bologna!" I moaned.

Soda really could make me smile no matter what. Too bad Darry wasn't feeling the same way.

_A/N: hehe. Well, what'd ya' think?_


	6. Toast

A/N: I apologize for not up-dating for so long. So much was going on recently, good and bad. I graduated and had to write a Valedictorian speech for one. Well, now that's over and I'll be writing a lot more, including finishing my other Outsiders fic in the next week or so! I hope you like this chapter which was, unfortunately, based on real events. More are coming!

After their parents had died, many of the rules in the Curtis house had changed. Cake was served for breakfast, beer was permitted, smoking was allowed inside, wrestling was not scolded, nor was running, and so on. Some rules, however, held fast and true. These were things like: homework must be done as soon as you come home, no messing up grandma's piano, and under no conditions (except illness) will food ever- EVER- be brought into the bedrooms. Soda never liked that rule.

He was constantly inventing new ways to break it and, as Pony was laying in bed late that Friday night, he heard a really terrible noise that instantly reminded him of this terrible habit his brother had.

Crunch.

"Soda, what have you got?"

"Shh. I snuck a piece of toast in here. I'm hungry, man!"

"But how'd you get it in here? All your wearing is pants."

Soda chuckled softly. Pony rolled his eyes and rolled over. Soda was trying to be quiet, but the slow, tortuous sounds of crunching were slowly driving Pony crazy.

"Soda, quit crunching, would you?"

"Sure, Pony. I mean there are lots of other way to each toast," he answered sarcastically. "I'll just slurp it up."

Pony covered his head with the pillow, and was about to block out the noise completely, when Soda began wildly thrashing beside him.

"What's wrong? You having a fit or something?"

"No, man. I got crumbs all in my boxers," he laughed.

Pony tried not smile, but failed pathetically. "Well that's what you get for sneaking toast in your pants."

The strangeness of this comment made both boys laugh-with disastrous consequences. They heard Darry's foot steps headed their way. If Darry found out they had food, in there on top of waking him up, he'd really be ticked.

"Hurry Pony! Eat this!" Pony felt a dry piece of cardboard flung into his open mouth and he turned over to feign sleep. He quickly chewed and swallowed the whole piece. It tasted like buttered sandpaper. Just then, the door swung open.

"You two quiet down! I still gotta work tomorrow, you know? I can't sleep with that giggling going on in here. It sound like a bunch of little girls are having a slumber party!"

Soda laughed, "That's uncanny Darry, you just missed them."

"Ha. Ha." Darry said, though he didn't sound too amused. "Get to sleep."

"Aye. Aye." After Darry left, he turned to Pony. "Well, enjoy my toast, thief?"

"No. It tasted like crap."

His eyes were almost closed when he realized: "Soda, did you just make me eat toast that was hidden in your pants?"

Soda cracked up. Pony moaned and gagged. In fact, they were still doing this when Darry barged in and began swinging at them.

A/N: As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	7. Love Advice

**A/N:** I figured you guys deserved two chapter becuase of the wait, so here it is. It's a little different and quite as comical as my past ideas. I was just toying with their love lives and some great advice. Hope you like it!

****

**Love Advice**

"Pony?"

"Huh?"

"I need your help."

"With what, Soda?"

"Sandy."

"I think you're a little confused. I've never even had a girlfriend before. You're the ladies man. What can I say to possibly help you?"

"You're good with words. You read. I need you to come up with something romantic to say to her."

"Where did this idea come from?"

"Last week this guy named Louis left a love poem he wrote in her locker for her. We got into an argument about it and she said that she just thought it was sweet and that I had never thought anything up like that. It was romantic and a girl appreciates a little romance. So I need something to really sweep her off her feet for prom night. What you got?"

"Okay, let me think... 'I love thee with the breath, smiles, and tears of all my life...'"

"Huh?"

"It's Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 'How Do I love thee, let me count the ways' one? What do you want to say to Sandy, anyway?"

"Anything to keep her interested in me and not Louis. I want to tell her I love her in really pretty words girls like to hear."

"Okay what about...'I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride. So I love you because I know no other way than this: Why I do not exist, nor you. So close that your hand on my chest is my hand. So close that your eyes close, as I fall asleep.'"

"Wow, Pony, that's beautiful, but I'll never be able to remember it. Got anything that says: I'm not pledging my soul to you, but I love you and think you we should be together-forget Louis?"

"Let's be safe an go with some Shakespeare."

"I dunno if I can do Shakespeare, Pone."

"Anybody can do Shakespeare, Soda. Trust me. How about this-I'll change a bit of Hamlet-: 'Doubt the stars be fire, Doubt the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a lair, but never doubt my love.'"

"Doesn't exactly rhyme. Does it?"

"It does if you have Shakespeare's accent. Besides, it doesn't have to rhyme to sound beautiful."

"I want one that rhymes."

"Dang it Soda! I'm not poetry anthology! This is the last one! "And the sunlight clasps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea;--What are all these kissings worth, If thou kiss not me?'-Percy Shelley."

"Perfect!"

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"Thanks, Pone."

"You're welcome. Now can we get some sleep?"

Pont rolled over only to hear Soda mumbling it over and over to himself. Pony sometimes did that with a really good, or really confusing, poem. He figured Soda was just trying to memorize it.

"Can I ask you something Pony?"

"Sure."

"How do you remember those poems?"

"I dunno. They usually remind me of people."

"Who?"

"Sodapop Curtis!" Pony snapped. That was way too personal.

"Oh yeah, he's hot," Soda giggled.

A/N: Not exactly what you were expecting? It will be the other way around soon, don't worry. Please tell me what you thought!


	8. Clash of the Wild Beasts

**Disclaimer** It ain't mine.

_**A/N:** Thanks for all the great reviews! I know I should have up-dated this a long time ago. Sorry. I hope you like this one. Pony's p.o.v. in case you wonder._

**In Bed**

**Chapter 8:** Clash of the Wild Beasts

It started innocently.

"So?" I began.

"So what?"

"If you were any animal-"

"What animal would I want to be?"

"No. What animal would you be?"

"What's the difference?"

"One's just what you like, but the other is what you are."

"Oh, okay. I get it."

"So,"

"So what?"

"WHAT ANIMAL?"

"Oh! Um, well... a horse, you know. I'm like a playful, young, and beautiful wild stallion." Soda made whinnying noises and bucked around, throwing the covers off of us.

"Yep. That fits," I laughed.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What about you?"

"I dunno. Maybe a bird."

"Eyes on the sky." Soda sighed next to me. "Sharp and always watching."

"What about Darry? Do you see a great big papa bear or a Great Dane with big muscles, standing all intimidating, and barking in that low voice?'

"One of those for sure. Dally's a tiger."

"Yeah. He's a tiger; a wild, crazy, and bloodthirsty tiger."

"With tiger eyes!"

"Yep."

"Steve?"

"Steve's a- I got it!- a grease monkey"

"Pony."

"Okay, okay. He's, um, he's a rabbit."

"Ha.Ha," he teased, then laughed really. After recovering, he asked: "Johnny?"

"Johnny is like a puppy."

"A puppy?"

"Uh-huh. Picture a little lost brown puppy, with big black eyes, that's just been kicked."

"Oh. I see it. Now... drum roll...Two-Bit?"

"Easy."

"How?"

"Mickey Mouse."

"That's not even an animal!"

"Actually, it is a mouse."

"Smartass."

"Think so?"

"Yeah." He shoved me.

"There's only one way to settle this."

"How's that?"

"The Eagle swoops down on his prey."

"The wild stallion bucks, rears up, and kicks the eagle in his feathery butt."

"Ahh!"

"Ahhh!"

Ever feel like some nights are just destined to end in wrestling match?

_**A/N:** Please review! Thanks's to my Bro for the idea. What'd you think?_


	9. Can't Take the Pressure

**Disclaimer: **See those other thingys please. It ain't mine, so please don't sue me.

_**A/N:**__ I know I haven't up-dated in ages, even though there's no set time with this one. Sorry. I may not up-date for a while again. For details, see my profile. However, please still feel free to leave ideas in your reviews- you are going to review aren't you? __**Warning: **__controversial theme_.

**Chapter 9: **Can't Take the Pressure

"Try it."

"No way man."

"Come on, just try it. You'll feel better."

"I'm not trying that shit man. You're weird."

"I'm your brother. You can trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about. I do it all the time."

"All the time?"

"Not all the time, but I've tried it before. I'm telling you man: no one will know. No body cares unless you do it all the time."

"That is just messed up."

"I thought that too at first, but I couldn't help it any longer. I just gave in and I felt so much better. What's one time gonna hurt anyway?"

"Well, I guess just once."

"Yeah."

"And you're saying I'll definitely feel better?"

"Absolutely."

"You're not gonna tell Darry?"

"Nope."

"Okay, here it goes." There was a sound like a whoopee cushion being flattened, but, unfortunately for his brother, Soda had not sat on a whoopee cushion.

"Darry! Soda farted! Ew, man, that was gross."

"You're the one who said to try it."

"Feel better?"

"Yeah those gas cramps were killing me. Bacon sandwiches. Yum."

"Ugh! Stop it! I can't breath!"

_**A/N:**__ Yep, he had gas, what did you think they were talking about trying, huh? I thought a twist would be funny, if you caught on. Before you say it, yes it was classless and gross, but this is two teenage boys we're talking about and I looked back and realized if I was trying to be realistic why were there no fart jokes? _


	10. Ferdinan the Fein

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: More stupid randomness, as requested. More on the way soon. Enjoy and, as always, thanks for reviewing!

**In Bed**

**Ferdinan the Fein**

"If my name was different, would you still be my friend?"

"What? You mean if you weren't a Curtis?"

"I mean, if I weren't Pony, Pone, Ponyboy, would we still be, you know, buds?"

That was a dumb question. I mean, Soda had head some dumb ones before but this was by far the dumbest thing he had ever heard his little brother say.

"Uh, yeah Pony. We would be. Why do you ask?"

"I had a dream where you told me we couldn't be friends anymore because my name was, well it was... Ferdinand."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"That's dumb."

"My dream's dumb? I may be Ferdinand, but at least I didn't get chased by a flock of pink flamingos and wake up having to run to the bathroom."

Soda gasped dramatically. "You promised not to mention that!"

"Correction: I promised not to mention that to anyone else. Big difference. Technically, I can torture you with it all I want."

"That's it Ferdinand the Fein!" Soda pretended to growl. "You must die!" He leapt on my little brother and we started wrestling. It was a typically destructive match. They managed to knock over the only table and lamp in the room and spill a beer that he suddenly remembered, with a cringe, he was not supposed to bring into the bedroom. Pretty soon he had Pony pinned down but then he yelled out-

"Soda, look a flamingo!"

"Where?"

"HaHaHa!"

"Shut up, Pone."


	11. Sodapop and the Greasers part I

**Disclaimer:** Please see previous chapter.

_**A/N**__: Thanks to a reader who left this great idea in a review! More are welcome. Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know in a review and thanks for all the support!_

**Chapter 11: Sodapop and the Greasers Part I**

"Pony?" I could not sleep. I just wasn't tired. It was weird the way that happened. At night I was hyper, wide-eyed and happy, but in the morning it hit me like a bad hangover. I _had_ to stay up and I **had** to feel grumpy in the morning so Darry could make smart comments about it. What can I say? I'm a night owl.

"Huh?" Pony's a morning person, not a night owl.

"I think we should start a band."

"Who?"

"The gang, you know."

"Gee that's a great idea Soda," he said. I detected a definite note of sarcasm. "We'll really be a hit, a bunch of bums who can't play instruments or sing."

"Oh man Pony, most people who are famous can't sing. That'd don't mean nothin'. We just got to look cool is all and I got that covered. We are a very diverse looking group of fellas, you know? There's something for everyone. Johnny's the dark, quiet one, you're the dreamy one, Darry's all muscle, Two-Bits got a sense of humor, Dally and Steve are tough and cocky, and me I've got the winning smile."

"So what are we gonna do stand on stage and smile at them while we lip sync?"

"I figure you can write the songs, since you read poems and all that. Steve, he's always beating on something so we'll give him the drums and let him get a beat. Darry can play the piano, remember? He doesn't anymore but he's real good. The rest of us can grab a guitar and sing along. What do you think?" I was excited. We were gonna be famous rock stars.

"I think you need to get more sleep."

"Oh come on Pony, don't you wanna be a famous rock star?"

"No. Why would I wanna do that?"

Was he serious? Better yet, was he really my brother? "Rock stars Pony." I reiterated in case he had not heard. "Free stuff. Girls screaming over you. The nicest cars."

"If you say so Soda,"

"I do. You'll see. We're gonna be hot stuff."

"Uh-hum."

"And we'll be called Sodapop and the Greasers."

My younger brother turned over to look at me seriously, if a a bit sleepy-eyed. "Why not Ponyboy and the Greasers?"


End file.
